Embracing the Holidays: A Journey of Presence, Acceptance, and Choice
The holiday season is a mixed bag of experiences, emotions, and expectations. It’s a time when our social media feeds brim with joyful snapshots, festive decorations, and idealized moments of togetherness. Yet, beneath the surface, the holidays can also amplify feelings of stress, inadequacy, or longing. And that’s okay.
The truth is, we’re not all in the same place emotionally or financially, and we never have to be. Life’s journeys are as unique as snowflakes shaped by different circumstances and choices. Embracing this truth can liberate us to find peace, joy, and connection—wherever we are and with whatever we have.
Here are some reflections and tips for staying in the moment this holiday season, honoring your unique journey, and choosing thoughtful responses to life’s challenges.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings—All of Them
Feelings are natural and human. Feelings are neither positive or negative; they arise unbidden, shaped by past experiences, present realities, and future worries. Instead of resisting or judging your emotions try accepting them instead of waging a war based on how you think you should feel or might feel if things were different. Whether it’s joy, sadness, frustration, or excitement, every feeling is valid.
📝 Tip: Set aside a quiet moment to journal or think about how you’re feeling. A simple prompt like “What am I carrying with me right now?”* can help you name and process your emotions without judgment.
2. Reframe What Matters Most
The holidays can feel like a race to meet expectations—buying the perfect gift, preparing an elaborate meal, or creating picture-perfect moments. But when we strip away the shoulds and comparisons, what remains is the opportunity for genuine connection and gratitude.
📝 Tip: Instead of focusing on what you can’t do, embrace what you can. If funds are tight, a heartfelt note or a simple handmade gift can hold more meaning than something store-bought. If time is scarce, a quick but intentional phone call can brighten someone’s day.
3. Practice Presence
It’s easy to let worries about the past or future distract from the present moment. Staying grounded in the here and now can deepen your appreciation for life’s simplest joys—a steaming cup of coffee, the laughter of a loved one, or even the crisp air on a winter walk.
📝 Tip: Try a mindfulness exercise like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to anchor yourself: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
4. Choose Your Responses
While we can’t always control our feelings or the situations we face, we can choose how we respond to them. Responding thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively, gives us agency over our experience.
📝 Tip: Pause before responding in a tense moment. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What outcome am I hoping for?”* This small act of self-awareness can help shift your perspective and encourage constructive actions.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
The holidays often come with an influx of commitments, family dynamics, and demands on your time and energy. It’s important to know your limits and communicate them clearly.
📝 Tip: Practice saying no kindly but firmly: “I’d love to participate, but I need to prioritize my well-being.”* Boundaries are an act of self-respect—and a gift to those around you, as they allow you to show up authentically.
6. Cultivate Gratitude, Big or Small
Gratitude doesn’t negate challenges but provides a counterbalance to them. Even in difficult seasons, there’s usually something to appreciate—a supportive friend, a personal milestone, or even just a moment of peace.
📝 Tip: End each day by writing down three things you’re grateful for. Over time, this practice can shift your mindset and illuminate sources of joy you might otherwise overlook.
7. Remember: It’s Okay to Be Exactly Where You Are
Life isn’t a competition or a checklist, and the holidays don’t require you to meet arbitrary standards. Let go of comparisons, and focus instead on what feels meaningful and authentic to you.
📝 Tip: Repeat this affirmation to yourself: “I am enough, just as I am. My journey is uniquely mine, and that’s okay.”
Final Thoughts
The holidays are a season, not a standard. They’re an opportunity to reflect, connect, and grow, not a measure of worth or success. Embracing where you are, choosing thoughtful responses, and staying present can transform the season into one of genuine warmth and meaning.
So, whether you’re feeling joy, sadness, or something in between, remember: you don’t have to do it all or feel a certain way. You only need to show up as yourself. And that’s more than enough.
The Lingering Effects of Racial Trauma and the Pathway to Healing
Racial trauma is a deeply rooted psychological wound stemming from experiences of racism, bigotry, and discrimination. For many, racial trauma goes beyond singular events, becoming a chronic source of stress and impacting mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. To truly understand the impact of racial trauma, consider the personal nature of these experiences.
My dear friend recently shared that she’d started a new fitness routine: every morning, she walks for 30 minutes. As she sat across from me in her office, she mentioned her morning walks, describing the peaceful neighborhood she strolled through daily. I casually shared that I, too, used to try to exercise outside, but that the experience had been different for me. I recounted how, once, while riding my orange bike with the white banana seat to my grandparents' house, I’d been assaulted by an older boy in my neighborhood.
The boy in question had harassed me daily, taunting me with a word that began with "n" and ended with "r." His attacks were so regular that my mother and grandparents advised me to ignore him, telling me that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” They encouraged me to be kind to him, to kill his hatred with kindness. I greeted him every day, complimented him—even though I was met with contempt each time.
One day, he decided words weren’t enough and, with a baseball bat in hand, struck me as I rode past. I remember the sting on my arm and the fear that forced me to keep pedaling, tears streaming down my face as I arrived at my grandparents’ house. My mother confronted the boy’s father, and after that, I no longer saw him on my path, but the fear stayed with me. It’s a story I rarely share, though it lives in the background of my life, a reminder of an early lesson in how the world could see and treat me differently because of my skin.
This experience is just one example of racial trauma, which encompasses not only direct acts of racial violence or discrimination but also the lasting psychological and emotional effects of these encounters. Racial trauma is often cumulative, a consequence of repeated experiences of racism, prejudice, or microaggressions that compound over time, gradually deepening the wound. Psychological studies recognize that racial trauma can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress, including hypervigilance, anxiety, and depression, especially if there was no proper support or resolution at the time of the incident (Williams et al., 2018).
Why Racial Trauma Stays with Us
Personal experiences of racial trauma, particularly those that occur in childhood or adolescence, shape our worldview and influence our sense of safety. Often, the lack of adequate responses from those around us—be they family members, friends, or community leaders—means that the impact of these incidents lingers. In my case, the advice to “kill him with kindness” or to ignore his slurs, while well-meaning, left me feeling isolated in dealing with the trauma. This lack of acknowledgment can deepen the hurt, reinforcing a message that such incidents should be accepted as “normal,” even though they cause profound pain (Carter et al., 2017).
Steps Toward Healing
Addressing racial trauma means creating spaces where stories like mine and countless others can be shared openly and supported with empathy and action. Here are some strategies for healing:
Culturally Responsive Therapy
Therapists who understand and acknowledge the realities of racial trauma can create safe, validating spaces for healing. Therapy that considers racial identity and cultural background can allow clients to process their experiences in a context that honors their unique challenges and strengths.Collective Healing in Community
Community support can help validate and process trauma. Spaces for sharing experiences and collective resilience-building allow individuals to feel less alone and more empowered.Mindfulness and Self-Care
Practices like mindfulness and self-care can support the healing process. Grounding exercises, meditation, and journaling have been shown to mitigate stress, allowing individuals to manage the lingering effects of trauma.Education and Advocacy
Raising awareness about racial trauma can foster understanding and inspire actions to address systemic inequalities. Education helps society better respond to racial trauma, ensuring that fewer individuals experience isolation after trauma.Intergenerational Dialogue
Open conversations about trauma across generations can help individuals process and contextualize their experiences. Sharing these stories within families or communities can help break cycles of silence and support collective healing.
Seeking Support for Healing
If you’ve experienced racial trauma—whether through direct acts of discrimination or by witnessing it—know that healing doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. Traumatic experiences, especially those rooted in racism, can create emotional scars that feel difficult to overcome alone. Therapy can be a powerful tool for processing these wounds in a safe and supportive environment, especially when culturally responsive therapists can validate and address the unique challenges of racial trauma.
Therapy is also important for those who may have participated in racial trauma, even inadvertently. The journey to heal often includes a deeper understanding of our own actions, biases, and the ways we contribute to systemic or interpersonal harm. Therapy can help individuals work through the guilt or shame associated with past actions and develop healthier, more inclusive attitudes that contribute to a more empathetic society.
A Path Forward
Healing from racial trauma takes courage, self-compassion, and sometimes guidance from others. If you feel that the impact of your experiences is affecting your daily life or preventing you from moving forward, seeking help from a therapist can be a meaningful step. Therapy provides a structured space to understand and process trauma, reduce its impact, and develop tools for resilience.
No matter where you are on your healing journey, remember that there is support available. Seeking therapy is not only a step toward personal well-being but also an act of empowerment and self-compassion, honoring your journey and the journey of all those who have experienced racial trauma.By taking these steps, we can create a world where people no longer have to bear the weight of trauma alone, instead finding support, validation, and healing. Personal stories, like mine, emphasize the urgency of creating spaces for healing, where trauma is not only acknowledged but addressed as a path to resilience and empowerment.
References
Carter, R. T., Johnson, V., Kirkinis, K., Roberson, K., Muchow, C., & Galgay, C. (2017). A Meta-Analytic Review of Racial Discrimination: Relationships to Health and Culture. Race and Social Problems, 9(3), 196-216.
Williams, M. T., Metzger, I., Leins, C., & DeLapp, C. (2018). Assessing Racial Trauma within a DSM-5 Framework: The UConn Racial/Ethnic Stress & Trauma Survey. Practice Innovations, 3(4), 242-260.
🤪 I’m Not Crazy; Why Do I Need Therapy?
Before we begin, I have to say people who work in the helping profession aren’t crazy about the word crazy. See what I did there? Words have power, and that word has helped stigmatize mental illness. Words like “crazy” and “insane” over simplify the human condition. Mental health is not binary. Most people wouldn’t expect someone with a treatable medical condition like high cholesterol or diabetes to go without health care, yet when people hear the word “therapy,” they often think it’s only for those with severe mental health issues. Maybe you’ve heard someone say, "I'm not crazy! I don't need a therapist!" This stigma around therapy can prevent people from getting the support they need. However, therapy is not just for people dealing with crises; it can be a powerful tool for anyone seeking personal growth, emotional well-being, and coping strategies for everyday life.
Therapy Isn’t Just for “Crazy” People
The idea that therapy is only for those with extreme psychological disorders is one of the most common misconceptions. In reality, therapy helps people in many stages of life, whether they are dealing with stress, navigating relationships, or simply seeking a better understanding of themselves. Everyone experiences difficulties, and therapy provides a space to explore those challenges in a non-judgmental, supportive environment.
Therapists are trained to help with a variety of issues, including anxiety, grief, low self-esteem, and even career dissatisfaction (American Psychological Association [APA], 2021). Engaging in therapy doesn’t mean you are "crazy" or “broken”; it simply means you are taking steps to care for your mental and emotional well-being.
A Space for Self-Discovery and Growth
Beyond addressing mental health concerns, therapy is also a valuable tool for self-discovery. Therapy helps people identify and change patterns in their thinking and behavior that might be holding them back. Through the therapeutic process, people can develop healthier coping mechanisms, improve communication skills, and set personal goals (Knaus, 2020).
Just as people see a doctor for preventative care, therapy can provide mental and emotional upkeep. This proactive approach helps individuals maintain a strong mental foundation, preventing larger issues from developing over time.
Therapy for Everyday Life
Life’s stresses are unavoidable, whether it’s a major life transition like starting a new job, going through a breakup, or managing family dynamics. Therapy offers a structured way to work through these stresses and learn how to handle them more effectively (Shapiro, 2019).
One of the benefits of therapy is that it can be tailored to individual needs. Whether you need short-term support or are interested in long-term self-improvement, therapists work collaboratively with clients to find solutions that work best for them.
Ending the Stigma
Choosing to go to therapy doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re strong enough to seek out ways to manage life’s challenges. Just like physical exercise strengthens the body, therapy strengthens the mind. It provides a safe space to talk, feel heard, and develop a toolkit for handling life’s inevitable ups and downs.
It’s time to move beyond the outdated idea that therapy is only for people in crisis. It is a valuable resource for anyone looking to better understand themselves, improve relationships, or manage the challenges of daily life.
Conclusion
Therapy is not about being "crazy" or "broken." It’s about recognizing that everyone, at some point in life, faces challenges that can be hard to manage alone. Whether you're dealing with stress, relationship issues, self-doubt, or simply seeking to understand yourself better, therapy offers a safe and supportive space to explore your thoughts and feelings. It helps you build emotional resilience, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and empowers you to take charge of your mental well-being.
Just as you wouldn’t ignore a physical ailment, neglecting your mental health can have lasting consequences. Seeking therapy doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—it means you are proactive in improving the quality of your life. In a world that often values independence, therapy reminds us that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
So, if you’ve ever thought, "I'm not crazy, I don’t need therapy," consider this: therapy is for anyone who wants to live a fuller, more balanced life. It’s a step toward self-care, self-awareness, and self-growth. By embracing therapy, you are not only improving your mental and emotional health but also investing in a brighter, more fulfilling future. Let's work together to end the stigma and see therapy for what it truly is—a vital resource for everyone, regardless of their struggles or experiences.
References
American Psychological Association. (2021). What is psychotherapy? https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/psychotherapy
Knaus, W. J. (2020). The cognitive behavioral workbook for anxiety: A step-by-step program (3rd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.
Shapiro, D. (2019). How therapy works: Using our minds to change our brains. Routledge.
The Benefits of Phone Consultations vs. In-Person Consultations When Choosing a Therapist
Choosing a therapist is a significant step towards mental and emotional well-being; and understanding the pros and cons of different consultation methods can help you make an informed decision. This blog post will explore the benefits of phone consultations and in-person consultations, and offer insights into what you can expect from each.
Phone Consultations: Benefits and Advantages
1. Convenience and Flexibility
Phone consultations offer unmatched convenience. You can schedule and attend sessions from the comfort of your home or office, eliminating the need for travel. This flexibility is particularly beneficial for those with busy schedules or who live in remote areas. A study by the American Psychological Association highlights that teletherapy can improve accessibility for individuals who might otherwise struggle to attend in-person sessions due to geographical or logistical barriers (American Psychological Association, 2021).
2. Anonymity and Comfort
Speaking over the phone can provide a sense of anonymity and comfort, which may make it easier for some individuals to open up. The privacy of your own space can help reduce the anxiety of meeting a new therapist, especially for those who are nervous about face-to-face interactions. Research published in the Journal of Telemedicine and Telecare supports this, noting that clients often feel more at ease discussing sensitive topics when they are not physically present with the therapist (Journal of Telemedicine and Telecare, 2020).
3. Reduced Costs
In many cases, phone consultations can be more cost-effective than in-person meetings. Therapists may offer lower rates for phone sessions due to reduced overhead costs. Additionally, clients save on transportation expenses and time. The cost-effectiveness of teletherapy has been supported by various studies, including one from the Telemedicine and e-Health Journal, which found that teletherapy can be a more affordable option for both clients and providers (Telemedicine and e-Health Journal, 2022).
In-Person Consultations: Benefits and Advantages
1. Building a Stronger Therapeutic Alliance
In-person consultations allow for a more nuanced understanding of non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions. This can help in building a stronger therapeutic relationship. According to the American Psychological Association, the therapeutic alliance is crucial for effective therapy, and face-to-face interactions often foster a more profound connection between the therapist and client (American Psychological Association, 2021).
2. Structured Environment
Meeting in person provides a structured environment, which can be beneficial for those who need a clear boundary between their personal space and therapeutic space. This physical separation can help clients mentally transition into therapy mode, which may enhance the effectiveness of the session. The Journal of Clinical Psychology highlights that a dedicated therapy space can improve focus and engagement during sessions (Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2023).
3. Immediate Feedback and Support
In-person sessions can offer immediate support and feedback, which can be particularly valuable during moments of emotional intensity. The therapist can provide more immediate reassurance and intervention, which can be crucial for clients dealing with acute issues. Research in the Psychological Services Journal underscores that the immediacy of in-person interactions can be critical in managing crises and providing support (Psychological Services Journal, 2022).
What to Expect from Phone and In-Person Consultations
Phone Consultations
When scheduling a phone consultation, expect a straightforward process. You’ll likely receive a call from your therapist at the scheduled time. Prepare to discuss your goals, concerns, and any relevant history over the phone. Ensure you’re in a quiet, private space to make the most of your session. Some therapists may also use secure video calls if needed, so inquire about available options.
In-Person Consultations
For in-person consultations, arrive at the therapist's office a few minutes early to complete any necessary paperwork. The session will involve face-to-face interaction, allowing you to communicate non-verbally. Be prepared to discuss your concerns and goals openly. The therapist will likely provide a comfortable space designed to facilitate an effective therapeutic experience.
Conclusion
Both phone and in-person consultations offer unique benefits when choosing a therapist. Phone consultations provide convenience, comfort, and cost-effectiveness, while in-person consultations foster a stronger therapeutic alliance and offer a structured environment for deeper engagement. Understanding these benefits and what to expect can help you make the best choice for your therapeutic needs. Ready to get started? Click Here
References
American Psychological Association. (2021). Teletherapy: Benefits and Challenges. Retrieved from apa.org
Journal of Telemedicine and Telecare. (2020). Client Perspectives on Teletherapy. 26(5), 280-287.
Telemedicine and e-Health Journal. (2022). Economic Aspects of Teletherapy. 28(3), 153-160.
Journal of Clinical Psychology. (2023). Effectiveness of Face-to-Face Therapy. 79(2), 456-464.
Psychological Services Journal. (2022). Immediate Support in Therapy. 19(4), 345-352.
Mental Health Counseling or Immigration Evaluation?
Immigration evaluations are an essential part of the process for many individuals seeking residency or citizenship in a new country. This blog will explore the significance of these evaluations, particularly focusing on aspects such as mental health counseling and its impact on the immigration journey.
What is an Immigration Evaluation?
An immigration evaluation is a confidential assessment conducted by a qualified mental health professional to answer very specific questions about a foreign national's immigration case. These evaluations can play a crucial role in the immigration process.
At its core, the immigration evaluation provides an objective, impartial picture of the applicant’s mental health history and current psychological state. This process not only aids immigration authorities in their decision-making but also serves as an invaluable tool for applicants to better understand their own mental health needs. When you undergo an immigration evaluation, it often includes a structured interview and the completion of standardized psychological tests.
Additionally, the findings from these evaluations can have far-reaching implications. They can highlight specific mental health concerns that may need addressing. By focusing on the applicant’s unique psychological landscape, these evaluations contribute to a more informed and fair immigration process.
How is Mental Health Counseling Different than an Immigration Evaluation?
While evaluators should not provide mental health counseling to those they are evaluating, mental health counseling can provide critical insights into an applicant's emotional and psychological well-being, which is essential for immigration authorities when considering an individual's application.
When you engage in mental health counseling, it not only allows you to express feelings and thoughts that may be difficult to articulate elsewhere, but it also offers a safe space to explore your past experiences. This is particularly vital in the immigration context, where stress and anxiety related to the application process can often exacerbate underlying mental health issues.
Moreover, mental health professionals can become advocates who ensure that your mental health struggles are appropriately documented and considered during your immigration assessment. This can be instrumental, especially for individuals from backgrounds that may contribute to unique psychological challenges during the immigration process.
Additionally, counseling can lead to greater self-awareness which not only benefits you personally but can also positively impact the perception immigration authorities have of your application. When you understand your mental health better, it equips you to present a clearer and more compelling narrative.
How to Prepare for Your Immigration Evaluation
Preparing for an immigration evaluation involves understanding what to expect. This section will outline steps you can take to ensure you're ready, including gathering necessary documents and being honest about your mental health history.
Begin by collecting any relevant mental health records. This might include previous diagnoses, therapy records, or any treatment plans you have been following. Having this paperwork ready not only demonstrates your commitment to the evaluation process, but it could also provide your evaluator with valuable insights.
In addition to documentation, it's helpful to reflect on your own mental health journey. Consider writing down significant events or experiences that have impacted your emotional well-being. This reflection can serve as a guide during your evaluation, helping you articulate your story clearly and openly.
Lastly, approach your immigration evaluation with a positive mindset. Remember, the goal is not only to meet the requirements but also to gain insights that can assist you in your immigration journey. A confident and open attitude can greatly influence the outcome of your evaluation.
Common Issues Addressed in Immigration Evaluations
Evaluations often assess several key areas, including anxiety, depression, and trauma. Addressing these issues can be pivotal in supporting your case.
Individuals undergoing immigration often face unique stressors, such as separation from family, uncertainty about the future, or adjusting to a new environment. These factors can lead to heightened levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms. Discussing these feelings during your evaluation can provide essential context for immigration authorities.
Equally important is the topic of trauma, which may surface in various forms during the evaluation. Many individuals come from backgrounds that include significant life hardships, including war, persecution, or natural disasters. Recognizing and addressing these traumas is crucial, as it helps evaluators understand the full scope of your experiences.
The Role of Mental Health Professionals in Immigration Cases
Mental health professionals bring a vital perspective to immigration evaluations, helping to ensure that applicants receive the support and understanding they need throughout the process.
These professionals act as navigators, guiding individuals through the complexities of their mental health needs. They are trained to listen empathetically and provide insight that goes beyond simply filling out forms—this connection can make all the difference.
Moreover, mental health professionals often play an advocacy role. This is typically done by writing a letter on your behalf. They can articulate their findings in a way that resonates with immigration authorities, making a compelling case for applicants who might not fully understand how their mental health history impacts their immigration status.
By fostering an open dialogue, professionals also help eliminate stigma surrounding mental health issues. They normalize conversations about emotions, which is essential in a process where applicants can feel vulnerable or intimidated.
What Happens After Your Immigration Evaluation?
After completing your evaluation, a report will typically be submitted to the immigration authorities. This section will explain what you can expect next and how to address any further requirements.
Upon submission, immigration authorities will review the contents of the evaluation report. This includes an in-depth analysis of your mental health status as well as recommendations for any additional resources or counseling you may need.
It's essential to be prepared for potential follow-up appointments or additional documentation requests. Understanding that this is part of the process can help alleviate any anxiety that may arise as you await a response.
Finally, once the immigration authorities reach a decision, their notification will outline any remaining steps you need to take. Whether that involves additional interviews, paperwork or counseling sessions, understanding the next steps in detail will empower you to move forward confidently.
Wrapping Up: The Importance of Immigration Evaluations
Understanding the importance of immigration evaluations can greatly affect your journey toward residency or citizenship. By ensuring you have a comprehensive evaluation that includes mental health counseling, you'll be better prepared to navigate the challenges that may arise.